When open in hazelwood hospital for the criminally insane in FLORIDA. What do you think the chances of this episode being about a FLORIDA MAN are? In a conference room, we have a couple presumably doctors debating with a family? (a couple?) about a 17yo boy. Apparently, this boy will not take medication - allegedly he put on 160lbs bc side effects. Apparently, because he is 18 now he’s going to be released. And yep. He is. We see this 18 yo being released and he is stroking his ya know, satanic books.

Cut and we see Garcia picking up coffee. A guy in the shop catches her eye - he is having trouble with a laptop. She offers to help him. There is tension. She also hates on Windows and I feel vindicated. She is able to fix it for him and he introduces himself. His name is James Colby Baylor. He asks her out to lunch, and she enthusiastically accepts. When at work Garcia is greeted by Morgan who calls her out on not responding to him in the same way - she doesn’t flirt with him with the same energy. She tells him about being asked out by James, although shares how apprehensive she feels about the thing.

And now we hear about a girl named Abby who is mcfreaking dead. Abby, 19, left home to go to a college and never came back. And then joggers found half of her body near a park 3 days later. She was found near “alligator alley” - everything beneath her waist was eaten away. But also an inverted pentagram was on her chest - as well as her fingers being cut off and her throat being slit. They debate satanic cults but apparently, ROSSI was the one to debunk satanic killer cults. They conclude this was definitely a ritualistic killing that can 100% turn serial if not caught. Rossi then quotes “Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate” which translates to “abandon all hope ye who enter here”, which is also what i used to have written on my bedroom door as a teen because I was insufferable. (from dante’s inferno in case you didn’t know and also wanted to see how obnoxiously pretentious I was).

Cut and now we see someone ominously playing a record while also fondling fingers while surrounded by renaissance art. While on the jet, Rossi talks about how there are only two types of violent Satanic killers. Teen Satanists - assume identity to rebel, basically say fuck authority, but w/drugs and alcohol may turn violent. Usually accidental violence.

Type 2 - the adaptive - the one you have to worry about. The typical serial killer rationalizing his fantasies by blaming them on outside forces - like Satan, adapts satanic beliefs to fit his homicidal drives. He doesn’t kill bc he believes in Satan, he believes in Satan bc he kills. Hotch warns everyone that even if you are religious or not, the presence of satanic elements can affect everyone - so they should all keep an eye on everyone. But even though the team is all ‘’we’ll be fine” i have a feeling that isn’t gonna be the case.

Now we are at the medical examiners’ office. He has a cigar! Is that LEGAL? Apparently, they found Abby’s car at a gas station, but there were no signs of foul play. The gators ate her during the night, but her nose was broken like 48 hours before. Additionally, the slit to her throat was the cause of death and was likely done 8 hours prior to the body being found. Also, I’m sorry, but Prentis asking if there was a sexual assault when only her torso up is there...girl. Maybe i’m ignorant and insensitive for that but omg. The medical examiners respond with “state of the body makes that impossible to determine” seems like a polite way to say “you dumb cluck”. Additionally, the pentagram in her chest was post mortem, and the finger removal was determined to be just prior to her death - because they were FED TO HER. (Is that vegan?)

Cut and we’re at church? Morgan, Rossi, and JJ arrive. Morgan requests that Rossi be the one to interview the priest. Rossi agrees but then throws Morgan under the bus and makes him interview the priests. Father Marks refers to Morgan as an “overdue customer” so CHURCH IS A BUSINESS! Morgan asks about any break ins, threats, or baf behavior. None. he also asks about Satan - questions, etc. but there have been none. JJ is interviewing Abby’s parents and her dad has the same name as my dad so now i’m spooked. Apparently Abby’s a Leo though, so we’re in the clear on that. We learn that her father was the one to ID her body, but he didn’t see her exactly, and the doctors won’t tell him what happened to her.

Cut to the station, and the team is concluding that this is definitely a serial killer that they are dealing with. Additionally, Rossi is stating that the fingers are a message, they are the only signs of sadism. Hotch reveals that the fingers in her stomach were not hers - six of them were index fingers. So he has done this before.

Cut and we see a young blonde walking along to a rest stop along a deserted and wooded road. We know she’s gonna get got. In the bathroom stall she closes the door and sees an upside down pentagram, and someone from the stall next to her exists. She screams and she’s a goner.

Cut and Garcia gets a call from James - the guy from the coffee shop. He asks if she’d rather have a dinner than a lunch - tomorrow night. She says she would like to but she is coming down with something, so she says shell call him some other time. While she is rejecting this dinner invitation, she is able to ID all of the fingers Abby ate - so she didn’t chew? Did she just swallow them like how Digs swallows string cheese? Did the stomach acids just not do anything? Anyways, each ginger belonged to a different woman, so there were 10 in total. A lot of them were sex workers. While on the phone with Morgan, Garcia tells him that she blew off the guy, and he’s like ‘good”, but now Garcia gets defensive because she feels like Morgan just insulted her. Garcia also has the same trashcan as me. Pink with flowers.

So now we’re at the profile briefing. We learn that this serial killer is from Bridgewater FL, because of the known location of each of his past victims. Since all of them were surrounding Bridgewater, he must be from there since that would make it his “safety zone”. He intentionally violated and left the fingers in Bridgewater because he wanted them to know he was there. Detective Jordan gets a phone call interrupting the briefing because they found the body of the girl into he bathroom. Rossi and Emily go to the rest stop and find the stall where she was killed. Rossi says that this unsub was likely in a mental institution because he left books neatly stacked together on the toilet - “one neat aspect. The severely mentally ill have chaos all around them. When the institutionalized, they’re given orders, taught to keep their rooms clean and neat. when discharged they stop taking meds their minds fall back into chaos, but often they do one thing to keep some order back into it.” which feels like A HUGE leap. Prentis calls Garcia to have her research local institutions.

Cut and we’re back with the detectives and rest of the team. Morgan is upset because the Father Marks is back. Morgan is worried cause he thinks the unsub could be a part of the congregation, but Hotch also points out that unsubs often inset themselves into the investigation anyway. The whole team and community is setting up a search and rescue event for Tracy - the girl in the bathroom. I have a feeling she’s gonna be found mcfreakingdead. We see the community looking through the Florida wilderness, and one of the local women who was out searching gets snatched.

Cut and it is now night. The cops are rolling up on a car, tell him to stop speeding, but they just let him GO because this woman is missing, but she’s IN THE TRUNK OF THAT CAR. The team is working late at night, and Prentis tells Morgan how to talk to women. Morgan has a frustrating conversation with Father Marks. Morgan is upset because Father Marks denies that anyone in his congregation could be the unsub. And now Morgan is finally acknowledging the abuse he had as a kid, and how god didn’t help him. This makes so much sense.

Morgan then goes back into the church to apologize to father marks. There is one woman sitting in the pews, but she doesn’t react when Morgan talks to her. He taps her on the shoulder, and she tips over - she’s mcfreakin dead. Pentagram and call. Cut and we see Sheryl, the woman we saw get abducted in captivity. The unsubs rubs olive oil into her thigh.

The team has the corpse that Morgan found be examined, and They realize that this is not either of the women they were looking for. Her name is Maria and she had been reported missing 9 months ago, but her body has only been dead like 72 hours. There was no sexual assault, Hotch suggests that they check to see if she had been frozen, because he thinks he’s eating them. It was also confirmed that she was frozen. Hotch explains he got to cannibalism because he didn’t keep them for sex, he only kept the legs, and the murder of Abby was a message - he told them by feeding the fingers to Abby.

Garcia calls and points them to Hazelwood - they had a fire that destroyed all the records, which explains when they may not have any records of a satanic cannibal. Reid and Hotch go to Hazelwood and find the old journal of a former patient. Reid reads it aloud and it says, on top of this patient taking a bit out of his 9yo sisters, “believes he is possessed by a flesh-eating demon”. His name is Floyd Feylinn Ferell. The local detective knows the name, and is surprised.

They go to his place, break in, and just find a dirty house. Then they venture towards the basement, where music is playing. Down in the basement they find a fucking freezer with the bodies of past victims. Prentis finds Sheryl alive and they save her. But Tracy is missing. Floyd is sitting nakey in front of his alter. There is blood everywhere and Satanic stuff. They ask where Tracy is but he doesn’t answer. Hotch takes his recipe book which confirms he kills them after 72 hours, but Tracy has only been gone for 24, so she must be alive.

Morgan questions Floyd, and asks if he tried them all. He says he only tried the ones that have smiley faces. The frowny face are the ones that “didn’t turn out so good”. He says he is not smart, but has a smart friend who tells him things. He’s like “he wants to tell you something,. Your watch stopped”. He says he doesn’t like drug users because they taste funny. He refuses to tell them were Tracy lambert is, and says he’s only supposed to tell father marks. Father Marks comes in, and agrees to go in with Floyd, but agrees to let Morgan do all the talking. They treat is kind of like a confessional. While this is happening, Rossi looks through the paperwork and sign up sheets for the search. He sees that Floyd Feylinn signed the sign in sheet, but his name was not on the list of searchers.

Floyd: Father...I feel so alone. I feel like god has abandoned me.
Father Marks: You are not alone, my son. God is in all of us.
Rossi: We need to stop the interview.
Floyd: So is Tracey Lambert

Cut and we see Floyd serving a stew at the search party. Floyd immediately starts chuckling, and everyone else is losing their shit. He freaking owns a BBQ.

Back on the jet, Morgan and Rossi have a heart to heart, you know, like the team usually does a the end of the episode where they try to remind us that this how isn’t copoganda. But, before it end ends, we see Garcia being walked home by her date! It looks like she and James did get dinner! They say goodnight, he fakes her out for a kiss, and then as she beings to go inside, he walks away and then says: “Hey Garcia. I’ve been thinking about doing this all night.” And he pulls out a gun and shoots her!

Rating Criteria:

Criminal/Serial Killer: 10/20
Character development/ character arcs: 20/20
Forensics/Context: 17/20
Script writing: 15/20
Background characters: 17/20

Overall: 79/100

S3E8 - “Lucky”

S3E9 - “Penelope”

S3E7 - “Identity”